I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
