Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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