Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
