Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
