are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
