She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
