Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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