16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
