I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
