i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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