Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
