She is in my trunk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
