i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
