batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
