Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
