Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
