Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
