I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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