What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
