I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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