Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
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She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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