so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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