glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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