that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
