i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
