Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
