I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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