Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize