PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
