Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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