We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
