worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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