Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
