I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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