I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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