yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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