I wish i was in the wii world.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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