this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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