she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
