Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
