there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
