Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
