just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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