You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
