i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
