After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
