Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
