I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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