Your mouth is God's brothel.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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