I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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