do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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