I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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