My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize