I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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