I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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