Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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