marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
