Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
