I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You smell like a Billy Joel song
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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