Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
