i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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