Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
