I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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