smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
