im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
