Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
