Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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