You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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