Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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